We finished the conversation considering choices they made, and the possible ones that could have led to a better outcome. This is the typical aftermath of the Graland Green Slip, with the conclusion being me stressing to the student that we were going to learn from the experience and continue with no other repercussions from the particular incident; however, at this particular lunch reflection, I was met with a response that makes me appreciate being an educator. The eighth-grader at the conclusion of our discussion looked at me and remarked, “You know, Mr. Burrell, I think this is really good for me. I needed a reset.”

At the beginning of this school year Head of School Josh Cobb introduced Graland’s Character and Community Framework to educators and families. I find it particularly applicable when the result of a student’s choices and actions is a Green Slip, a behavior referral for students and their families. Consequences can be frightening, but the purpose truly is for students to recognize and take responsibility for their actions, participate in a restorative process, and ultimately learn and grow from the experience. Considering the framework, we want students to “go with agency” and “recognize [their] role in a situation.” This requires an effort to think beyond themselves so that they can “go with empathy” and “seek to understand’’ others. These are important skills, and we as a community understand that they take practice. That is why a Green Slip is always kept internally and never shared outside of Graland. Indeed, when our mission states that we “build strong character,” the verb indicates that this is an ongoing process.

This character-building works in conjunction with our goal to “achieve intellectual excellence.” In other words, allowing our students to experience consequences not only builds better character, but also can improve academic learning. In “How to Raise an Adult’’ by Julie Lythcott-Haims, the author stresses the importance of how we handle “life’s so-called curveballs.” She asserts that allowing “our kids to have those essential experiences-to flail, fail, and fall-isn’t just a good way to help them learn and grow, it’s the best way. Mistakes can be life’s greatest teacher.” Lythcott-Haims worked at Stanford University where they developed the Resilience Project, a program centered on the belief that reflecting on mistakes and the choices that led to them is imperative for students to succeed. Similarly, in the Graland Middle School, we believe that the consequence of a Green Slip is critical to building student resiliency, empathy, and character. Coincidentally, Lythcott-Haims lists twenty various “so-called curveballs,” one of which is “getting detention.” 

I have to admit that the eighth-grader who was in my office may have had one or two more “resets” before the school year ended. However, they were also one of the leaders in the class who regularly set good examples for others and continued to grow throughout the year. Like all adolescents, they were testing boundaries, and like any good educator, we reminded them of where those boundaries lay. In fact, they made it a point to find me after the eighth-grade awards dinner at the end of the school year to thank me for holding them accountable throughout the year. It was the ideal we want for all of our graduates. They took the time at Graland to “go with adaptability” and “embrace a growth mindset.” And, at least at Graland, they’ll never have to worry about a Green Slip again!